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Deafness and me.
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November 15th, 2010LifetrackingThis is a post that I have wanted to write about for the past few weeks, and been open about for the past few years.
I’m deaf.
I said it.
Whilst it doesn’t sound like a big revelation, for me it has been. I always have been deaf. My hearing is worse in my right year, even having some surgery on it back 11 years ago. Since then it has felt that it has slowly declined, with my left which was never ‘normal’ declining too.
Previously, I had always been one to hide my deafness. After all, I could get on with my life and over many years I’ve learnt how to cope.
Whether it was by
- Keeping good eye contact with the person/people talking.
- Avoiding situations where I knew I wouldn’t be able to hear.
- Blagging the conversation (it’s easy after a while to know how a conversation ’should flow’, and what you should/are expected to say.)
- Placing myself near the front of discussion/meetings.
- Withdrawing from large groups, into smaller/one-to-one conversations.
The first point has probably become my most required need when having a conversation. If I can’t see your face, I most likely have no idea what you are saying to me. I might know that you are talking, but I may end up blagging that conversation.
Over many years, I’ve used some of the above to hide how bad my hearing actually is. I was in denial.
Eventually I got past the denial part, and I got back to living
(Quote courtesy of Lost).
More recently I’ve come to realise there was no point hiding/denying/avoiding my deafness.
So, I told the world.
Hello All. My Name’s Neil. I’m deaf, severe to profound. Thought you should just know.
After all, on Friday of this week coming I will be trying hearing aids for the second time in my life. It’s been many years since I ‘gave up’ using them. I think the last time I really used them was back towards college time. I never got on with it.
Hopefully that will change on Friday. I’ll be the recipient of two hearing aids. The start of my adventure back into the ‘proper hearing world’.
PS. This is obviously the rather abridged version, I could have talked about early memories of hearing tests in primary school. But i didn’t!
Update: The second part ‘Adjusting to Hearing’
Tags: deafness, hearing aids
13 Responses to “Deafness and me.”
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You are lovely x
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Great post Neil. Hope the hearing aids work for you this time.
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I had no idea Neil. I thought your recent hearing difficulties were new development. Like many other people have probably said to you, you hid it extremely well.
My Dad was severely deaf and it affected his confidence and whole life more than I wish it had. I love your Lost quote, and I know you won’t let the same thing happen to you. All the best with the hearing aids. Hope they work out for you.
Karen x
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Whether the hearing aids prove to be for you or not (and of course, I hope they can help) you are someone I have enjoyed spending time to and look forward to talking more.
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Hearing aids have improved incredibly along with the electronics industry in general.
Give yourself time and don’t expect to get on straight away…
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Great post Neil, I wish you all the luck in the world, looking forward to sharing more cocktails next time you’re in town!
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Brilliant post! Let us know what you think of the HAs when you see ‘em…
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Wow, touching and real. I hope the hearing aids go well! To us, you’re loved as a fellow foodie regardless!
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Neil H
Thankyou all for the lovely words.
It’s been a few days with them and learning that they certainly have changed a lot since I last tried them.
Both in regards to size, sound, functionality and other bits. It’s been a rather exhilarating few days!
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Marc Parry
Hi there, Thank you for posting this, I feel almost exactly the same, I’m 34 have just got got mt first hearing aids last month. I’ve been losing my hearing all my life and used the exact same techniques you did to cope!I tried to cope without hearing aids because I didn’t want them to affect my work but this year it became too much, I was sick of being seen as stupid or arrogant and tired of constantly playing catch up in conversations. My family convinced me to go back to the hospital (I hadn’t even had a test since I left school nearly 16 years ago) it’s great to see someone else’s story and know there are other people in the same boat – I’m loving my aids so far – I can’t believe what I’ve missed out on for so many years – good luck with it all,
Kind regardsMarc Parry.
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[...] little while ago I mentioned about my deafness, and the associated consequence of not being able to hear (what a surprise), and some of the ways I [...]
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Neil H
Marc – It’s definitely a big step returning to the world of adult audiology, I hadn’t really dealt with the audiology department much since childhood.
It’s been great to ‘get fixed’ so to speak, in other words – hear things!
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